Spanish and the Bleed

So my job does not entail anything below the stomach; yet, I was pulled into a room the other day because I speak a very limited number of Spanish words. Needless to say, my client was put on hold as I ran to do my duty and assist the physician.

The patient is lying on his back and the doctor begins firing a million questions for me to translate so we can obtain his medical history.

The patient, growing uneasy, responds cautiously.

The doctor then snaps on a latex glove, searches out his KY Jelly, and then asks me to tell the patient he is going to roll him on his side and check for a rectal bleed.

OMG! How do I say that?!!! [deep breath]

"El va a poner un dedo en su nalgas."

Patient's eyes bulge. Finger in. Finger out.

"It's green."

"Es verde."

"Good"

"Es bueno... porque no hay sangre?"[I think]

So because of this wonderful inopportune time that I was provided to demonstrate my skills I have decided to try and learn Spanish. I SOOO did not sign up for this!